Good evening bloggers and hope you are all very well. Its been three months now since my loss and I'm still feeling low. We had a lovely holiday in August to Wales and we all enjoyed it very much. The week was glorious with lots of sunshine and was very relaxing. Im also back at work although with hindsight I wish I'd had longer. When I got back to work I expected lots of awkward questions from my colleagues as one day I was at work and the next I was gone. Colleagues were fine nothing intrusive at all. Management however not so. I met with my manager to discuss my return to work to be told that I was being referred for first level disciplinary proceedings for my absence. I was informed that I was to meet with management at a later date and I could have representation. To cut a long and upsetting story short, HR got involved and assured me that in my circumstances no action would ever be taken and they were very apologetic about it. I felt very upset , disappointed and let down as you could imagine. Returning to work has been good for me in some respects as socially I haven't felt isolated like I did being at home. Work itself is still the same and very frustrating but Im trying not to think too much about it, hometime comes and I'm out the door. Two couples I know have since made their pregnancies public with both being due the same week as I would have been. New Year will be good to get this last year behind me but that first month will be difficult.
So sorry to read that management were not as helpful as they might have been - and it must be hard seeing colleagues expecting babies when you have lost yours. I hope that your closest work colleagues prove to be supportive, true friends. Hang in there, sister - there will be a rainbow when these clouds have passed - love and hugs xxx
ReplyDeleteThank you Angela. No one knows what happened only my parents ,hubby and work superiors. My family including my daughter doesn't know so its been hard. I'm hoping for a rainbow xx
DeleteI am so sorry to read about how dreadfully you have been treated.How I wish I lived closer and could give you a hug, because I know what you are going through, particularly with other people being pregnant. When I lost my first baby someone else at work was due on the same day as I would have been, and when I lost my second baby I was working in the ante-natal clinic at the local hospital. It was torturous, but I got through it. I had happy endings after both experiences, and I so hope you get your happy ending too.You are often in my thoughts. With love. x
ReplyDeleteThanks Scarlet. That's one of the reasons that people don't know whats happened, is because one of the pregnant ladies is a relative of mine and due the same day. They are sailing through passing the milestones and I have to sit back silently. Its unknown because I didn't announce before the 12 weeks, then afterwards what do you say ? As you know its very difficult :-(
DeleteIt must have been so hard on your first day, well done for getting through it. I imagine your superiors were just following their unbendable rules, I got a warning after going back to work following major surgery, it was just a formality, unfortunately. Like Angela above says, hang in there, you are doing fine xxx
ReplyDeleteThe annoying thing wasn't the back to work interview it was the disciplinary bit. It is against the law to include pregnancy related sickness in a persons total sickness count ( not that I have a high sickness count ) so therefore cannot be used in any disciplinary situation. The managers pleaded ignorance to this which is disgusting. HR is there to protect employer and employee and any area which is unclear HR are there to guide accordingly. They caused me a lot of upset and stress over something they should have known. One manager apologised, the other did not which I feel shows their true character !
DeleteNice to see you back - they do the rtw interviews where I work too but it's not as bad as where my son works at the post office - if he's off sick for 2 days then he's on a disciplinary! I hope you'll be feeling a little brighter sooner you've had a tough time recently - hugs from me xxx
ReplyDeleteThanks Trudie, I feel very let down by my employer. But you live and learn !
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